anni05's Diaryland Diary



no one in my family is ever on my side about anything. i feel like everyone thinks i'm stupid for the picture thing, but it's more than just the picture to me. it's a symbol of every time no one wanted to listen to me when i said stop, you're hurting me. it's a symbol of no one ever having cared about me, growing up lonely and hated by everyone including the people i lived with. it irks me to see my picture on that fridge, as if she has ever loved me or given me the time of day. you don't get to ignore me and emotionally abuse me my entire life to pretend now that none of that ever happened. you can't erase it. it's still in my mind, haunting me every day, especially the abuses i suffered as an adult when you waged your war against my mental illness as if i could just control that i was afraid of everything, resorting to refusing to let me eat to force me out of my comfort zone. i'm a mess still over all of that. i'm still SO ANGRY. i'll be angry for the rest of my life. and now that i'm not living in your house anymore, that's when you can love me? fuck you.

11:58 am - 11.14.20


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