anni05's Diaryland Diary



anytime I post anything on facebook nobody acknowledges it and it always makes me sad. also today I found out a person I tried to add on facebook didn't accept the request. cried for a while about that one combined with the fact I'm really goddamn lonely and no one seems to care that I exist.

it takes an extra amount of courage for me to hit the "add friend" button considering what terrible luck I have always had with friendships. I remember knowing in fucking second grade not to trust that anyone wants to be your friend, because throughout my entire life very few people HAVE ever wanted to be my friend. I was a social outcast from the second I was put in school. and now, after countless people have actively pretended to be my friend when it was later revealed they secretly hated me the whole time, I don't even take facebook friends lightly. I added that girl thinking for sure she liked me and would accept. so yeah, that hurt. a lot. especially since she makes time every day to ask how I am, and says my name like she's super excited to see me. I just don't get doing that to a person--pretending to like them when you don't. doesn't anyone see how cruel that is? you think someone cares about you only to find out they never did, and your world crashes down around you. if you don't like someone, why make the effort talking to them at all? just leave them alone. it hurts people a lot less.

1:17 am - 06.14.21


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