anni05's Diaryland Diary



I've been obsessed with bo burnhams "inside" since it came out. the song "all eyes on me" in particular is unspeakably beautiful and moving. the songs from the special were finally put on Spotify tonight, so I'm really excited about that.

waiting for my car to flip out again since that's what I'm used to at this point. an endless fucking cycle of having to worry about my car and spending money on it over and over, having to wake up at 7 am on Saturday mornings after long weeks and going to bed at 330 to 4 am or later. it's never going to be fucking over. everything seemed fine so far except a subtle noise I might be imagining out of fear, and then tonight as I came home I thought smoke was coming from somewhere... but then maybe I imagined that, too, because there was no smell when I got out of the car... I'll have to see tomorrow when I try to start it again.

the heat has been evil lately. well into the 90s and its not even mid-june. today was particularly bad. the inside of my car was Satan's asshole. thank god I don't have a long drive.

also thinking about people who think having some kind of mental illness or adhd gives them a free pass to hurt people. like they think if they do something they know is wrong and then they go "oh I'm just having SUCH a ROUGH time lately, you know, since I'm the only person in the world with depression" the other person that they hurt is gonna be like ohhh you poor baby you just keep right on abusing me that's fine! literally my ex best friend thought she was gonna get away with that shit like I ain't been saying this entire fucking time that guilt tripping and manipulation have the opposite of the intended effect on me 100% of the time (I just get more and more pissed off bc I know what they're trying to do and it's not gonna happen here). like you really thought I was going to feel sorry for you LMFAO. you really thought I don't have depression too so I know for a fact you're lying through your fucking teeth

I get worked up about it still, sorry. that bitch really played me good. I was genuinely convinced she was a good person for like two years or whatever. but yeah there are others like her that actually think free passes to be a cunt from the depression gods exist and it brings me joy when the internet tears them to shreds for it. yall give us all a bad name. quit that shit

3:47 am - 06.10.21


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