anni05's Diaryland Diary



got my vaccine today. side effects for me are very slight arm pain (but I feel like everyone's gonna have that one after a needle goes into your muscle) and fatigue. after, my dad decided to text me to (as it turned out) harass me to get a vaccine..... when I already did. I had thought he was trying to bully me into getting the 200 dollar incentive which I'm not interested in going through hoops to get. he called me a pessimist and I'm like ???? how am I being a pessimist lol and that's when he's like "just get the vaccine."

as if I somehow had a problem with getting the vaccine. I have no idea what gave him that fucking idea. I'm happy to be vaccinated so that i can help stop the spread and protect anyone around me. for another thing, I'm not being a "pessimist" when I'm not interested in doing something I don't actually have to do because of my very severe anxiety. it's ANXIETY. it really pisses me off that he apparently understands about as much as my mother about how mental illness fucking works, that I can't just turn it off and on at fucking will and its not temporary and I'm not making it up. they have both been working in the medical field for the past 20 years at least!!!! shame on them!

and for ANOTHER thing.... he won't even spend time with me for more than however long it takes to help me for whatever thing I needed help with. and he won't even come inside when he doesn't have to be. he gives me no more time than necessary, even when I ask. he forfeited his right to know personal details about my life and to tell me what the fuck to do. not that I allow that anyway.... I've always been headstrong and defiant. sometimes when I think about it, I think I've never really wanted parents anyway

3:53 pm - 04.09.21


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