anni05's Diaryland Diary



whats wrong with me? why can't a single person in the world love me? just like, as a fucking person?

if you've ever read the book mr mercedes, there is a female character named (i think) olivia, whose car is the one stolen and used for the act of terrorism, and the detective character keeps thinking about how he just hates this woman and everything about her and he doesn't know why. I relate to her character so much, and long before I read that book I felt like I was exactly like her--just someone no one can stand.

I know what I sound like. I'm sure it only adds to it. everyone wants to think I'm just being dramatic. I'm actually often downplaying my feelings because I've noticed it makes everyone really uncomfortable when you express any emotion other than happiness. I think sometimes I'm a lot sicker inside than I let myself realize. good luck finding a support system though when people these days are out there saying you're a bad person if you vent to your friends and "good vibes only" like people are honestly fucking disgusting

12:14 am - 01.01.21


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