anni05's Diaryland Diary



still dreaming about him, anyway. even if my mind thinks it wants to be done with the whole situation, my goddamn soul decides to show me exactly how much i don't mean it. it's like that old song, "all the same" by sick puppies. i'll just come back, running... holding my scarred heart in hand. it's all the same.

(and i'll take you for who you are, if you take me for everything; do it all over again. it's always the same.)

i didn't even remember that i dreamed of him until at work while my mind was wandering. out of nowhere i had a little tiny thought that went, "oh but he said he started again" and i froze when i realized it was some imaginary fucking conversation that for some reason my brain stored as real for a split second. i'm losing my damn mind with this fucking job i swear to god. but at least i'm not having recurring nightmares that my bed is the line anymore. that sucked, not being able to escape work even at home. when i lived at moms and let my cat sleep in my bed, i woke up in the middle of the night once and had to move her because she was lying where the liners are supposed to go and was in danger of being smushed. worst nightmares i've ever had, those assembly line-bed ones

4:04 am - 09.16.20


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